Love me
Love me
Good morning baby,
because of you,
I thank the God who made me
you are the one who saved me,
forgave me
for so much
I long to hold you
and your perfect touch
that molds me
unfolds me,
and frees me each day
And I hope you can forgive me
for letting things get in the way
Because sometimes I have a tendency
to ignore my heart
and let my head think for me
and it tears me apart
But you have to try to understand
I am 40 years of age
and have just become a man
Who had troubles dealing with his fathers rage
and the knot in my stomach doubled
Each time I turned another page
over my face, I pulled the covers
and watched with hurt
all his love go to my brother
Now as one day became another
I became a little more seperated
from the world and myself
Alone in the dark, with all the things I hated
I was just a boy who could not get by
who would find suffering in his fathers eyes
and the pain became my only friend
Because my whole life was spent
trying to defend
And all the world just moved on by
and then one day I got high
And I found a silent comfort in the way I felt
angry at everyone for the cards I was dealt
And before I knew it I found myself
In the dark with a demon,
Pounding on the glass, crying and screaming
but no one could see me or ever hear
And then one day I just disappeared
Evaporated,
A young man with promise just dissipated
along with everything he hated
He slipped away and finally faded
So it was solidified, I was seperated
and the addict that for years had waited
showed to me his wicked face
and told me there was no escape
He said to him I was a slave
And that I would never get out
and there was no God to save
And then he killed off every dream
and I was powerless to scream
As I watched my soul decay inside
chained to my core I watched it die
And a river flowed from my eyes
but no one heard any of my cries
Until the well had finally dried
and I felt my tears subside
Then for a decade I watched just horrified
as the entire world just moved on by
And now I was older on the outside
but still a boy trapped within
whos life was over, until one day when
The addict fell asleep
and the binds slipped off my hands and feet
and in a silent fear by him I creep
And found the opening of the cage where I would keep
and one single key to turn a lock
and I knew if I was ever caught
This time would never come again
so I held my breath and remembered when
I once felt free, and there was a place for me
so I found the lock and turned the key
And I ran with legs that had lost their speed
and with eyes that almost could'nt see
and I could hear the addict scream
and I knew he was coming after me
So I made one final leap
And found the voice in which I used to speak
And was free from the creature who had enslaved me
My Mother saw me, reached out and saved me
My family forgave me and I was free
And the addict disappeared inside of me
And let loose all the demons inside
and told me there was no place to hide
So I found myself just aching with pain
In a world that had completely changed
Where no one looked the same
and so many had forgotten my name
And the mirror reflected a different face
and the hurt from all the that went to waste
And from my mouth I lost the taste
And in the line I lost my place
My father died and I was'nt there
my families pain I did not share
I had dreams that I was lost and falling
In my ears echoed the addict calling
And then one day I clamped down my teeth
squinted my eyes and planted my feet
And for ten years I scratched and clawed
chewed, ground my teeth, bit down and gnawed
and worked with a ferocity
To understand what happened to me
I aquired all the tools I need
To build a life of sobriety
And I utilized every single one
Until one day I could feel the Sun
And then it happened to me
I crawled out of the hole and could finally see
the colors I had lost for 10 years
and the well once again, filled up with my tears
And I felt the warmth on my face
and I smiled in the light of the sunshine rays
And I found green fields where I could play
but still no God for me to pray
And a new found rage inside of me
so I worked even harder to subside in me
the demons screamed and beckoned me
and I knew that I still was'nt free
And each year that passed I worked on my home
and built a house of sobriety
where I lived alone
and finally forced each demon into their cage
and exorsized from my body the rage
and for the first time in nearly fifteen years
I turned a page with eyes so clear
And each day I remember when I was dead
and the path to the darkness on which I was lead
because I had always thought with my head
and looked through eyes that were firey red
And each night all alone in my bed
my eyes flowed rivers and my heart bled
So I walked this road a sober man
But never on legs of contentment I stand
and no peace of mind but instead I grew tired
and each footstep I took I found a trip wire
But still no God could I find anywhere
And then one day I saw here standing there
Her name Maria was just as yours
And I had never seen such beauty before
And I took a deep breath and I walked through a door
and felt numb as I moved along the floor
And then our eyes made contact
And I had no idea how I would react
Then a feeling came like a lightning bolt
And I stung with a fire and a lump in my throat
And for the first time in my life from my head to my feet
I was absorbed, and adored, and then finally complete
And in the days that have followed
You filled everything that in me was hollowed
The lump in my throat I finally swallowed
And climbed from the pool of tears that I wallowed
And all of the things that I would seek
I almost cried when I heard my soul speak
And I found it again and we danced with a joy
I had not seen it since I was a boy
And love filled me inside and it rushed over me
And then the voice of God talked through my soul to me
and Maria he told me that you were the one
That you were my stars, the Moon and the Sun
And that I should place you above everyone
and that my work was far from done,
in fact God said its just begun
That my head was confused by the love in my heart
and that I needed to make a new start
And that God would continue to speak to me
with a love in my heart that has set me free
And all of the things that my life ever needed
Maria said God, will find you completed
She was made up of stars and all that was true
I made her especially for you
And God said you just needed the time
and the suffering you did will always remind
And sometimes your head will get in the way
but your heart is the place where from now on I'll stay
and through your soul my words you'll hear
and your heart will let your eyes see clear
and your head doesnt mean to interfere
Because truely the love you own is sincere
And love her forever Jeff was the last thing I heard
and I will give you just one final word
Then from Heaven came a beautiful melodey
the angels were singing just for me
written by God, a beautiful aria
And the one word he gave me
it was Maria